MADDEN TECHNOLOGIES / EST. WHENEVER

TRUST ME.
I'VE READ
THE SPECS.

AM—001BIG OPINIONS.
SMALL SAMPLE SIZE.
PHONES / PCS / SPEAKERS
Arthur Madden

ARTHUR MADDEN

✳

Chief Spec Officer. Full-time tech larper.

Phone philosopher. Hypothetical PC builder. Audiophile. Hollow Knight survivor (allegedly).

Based in the settings menu500+ tabs open, spiritually
Open to unnecessary upgrades

New phones · More RAM · Better speakers · A Hollow Knight rematch

ALWAYS
4 areas of expertise*0 short explanations*self-appointed
TRANSMITTING WITH CONFIDENCE

The feed.

17 posts. No shortage of opinions.
PEER REVIEW NOT INCLUDED

The testing lab.

INTERACTIVE
01 / THE SPEC CHECK1 / 6

TECH TALK
OR PURE LARP?

Can you separate the specs from the confidence?

Score: 0
02 / TAB MANAGEMENT SIMULATORBEST 0

CLOSE THE TABS.

The PC doesn't need an upgrade. It needs an intervention.

TABS CLOSED00SECONDS LEFT15

15 seconds. Tap the highlighted tab or press its number (1–9).

MADDEN SUPPORT DESKUNSOLICITED ANSWERS

Questions nobody asked.

When will the PC build actually be finished?

As soon as the next generation comes out. This answer has survived several generations and remains impressively future-proof.

Why are all the songs twelve seconds long?

They are not songs. They are reference material. Enjoying the rest would compromise the objectivity of the listening session.

Is Arthur sponsored?

No. He has eleven shopping baskets, seven stock alerts and a deeply personal relationship with the “Notify me” button.

Can Arthur fix my phone?

He can explain your phone. These are different services. One usually takes longer than the problem did.

How is the Hollow Knight run going?

Progress is being measured in increasingly sophisticated explanations. The boss remains in its original location.

Why does Raffa W keep winning?

The official explanation is insufficiently controlled conditions. The unofficial explanation is that Raffa has not spent the entire afternoon preparing an explanation.

THE CAMERA ROLL05 FILES

Proof of presence.

AUTOMATED PARODY / NO MESSAGES SENT

ASK THE
SPEC OFFICER.

Choose a subject. Receive a wildly confident opinion.

ArthurBot is preparing an unnecessarily long answer.